Files from the Department of Mysteries
by The Next Man
Summary: The Department of Mysteries is finally answering them. Read mostly uncensored files directly from the hands of Ministry Unspeakables, on all subjects and definitely not for all ages! Rated T for mildly disturbing content.
1. Chapter 1: on immortality

**Disclaimer: although the theories and information I present here is as internally consistent and as canon-consistent as I can manage, it is ****_not_**** verified, confirmed, dispensed, or in any other way affiliated with J. K. Rowling's own explanations. The goal of this is to add my headcanon to that of others, so don't mistake this for canon truth.**

**Harry Potter and all affiliated characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling.**

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The following files were compiled by Senior Unspeakable [REDACTED]

On immortality:

-Due to the Principal of Magical Balance, creating immortality requires ending a life. There are several different methods of immortality, with varying degrees of difficulty, effectiveness, and gruesomeness, but all require the death of at least one person.

**-On Horcruxes**

-A Horcrux is one of the simplest ways to become effectively immortal. All it requires is to cause the death of a sentient, sapient, unwilling creature, and to cast the ritual spell**[1]** at your target Horcrux. This causes your soul, stretched by causing death, to attach to the Horcrux as well as to your body. Superstitions about permanently severing part of your soul are all nonsense: a severed portion of your soul results in a new creature entirely. When a child is conceived, their soul is a mixture of pieces of their parents' souls. Horcruxes merely anchor the soul to the world in multiple places, so that the destruction of the body won't kill the person. Note that the person would become a disembodied soul, unable to perform magic or physically touch anyone. The soul can speak or possess a willing host or an animal.

-Most people who've made Horcruxes**[2]** only made one. There are five people who created more than one Horcrux, of whom none now survive: Gregori Rasputin, Abraxes**[3]**, Tom Riddle Jr.**[4]**, Amon the Cadaverous**[5]**, and Vlad Drakul**[6]**. Records survive now for the locations and natures of Drakul's and Riddle's Horcruxes: for Riddle's, read the seven-book biography of Harry Potter**[7]**. Drakul's Horcruxes were three matching rings, all carved from a single large ruby.

-a) One was able to connect to the mind of the wearer and let them speak to Drakul from any distance and vice versa, as well as letting him possess them from a distance. He gave this to his second wife, and after her death to one of his servants. When destroyed, it released Fiendfyre around itself.

-b) One he wore himself. When his body was killed, the ring burned through his finger, flew at his killer, and released Fiendfyre, slaying him as well.

-c) The third was incased in a three foot sphere of iron, which was kept moving around his kingdom in a wagon under the Fidelius charm. The charm eventually degraded and it was found and destroyed, resulting in Drakul's permanent death.

_-On returning from death (having created a Horcrux)_

-Due to the Principal of Magical Balance, creating a new body for a ghost or other disembodied soul or spirit requires divesting another person of a body, if not outright killing them. There are currently three ways known to the Department of Mysteries.

-The first way was used by Riddle to 'return from the dead' in 1995. A pregnant mother had the child ripped out of her after seven months, seven weeks, seven days, seven hours, seven minutes, and seven seconds, with the child being a seventh pregnancy and conceived at midnight on New Year's Eve: the ritual must therefore reach completion at 7:07:07 on September 19th. This results in a total of seven sevens, which makes the child have the magical strength of whoever possess it. The ritual which rips out the baby also divests it of its soul, leaving it ripe for that possession. Riddle possessed it and was kept alive by means of snake venom and willingly given blood. The potion in the Graveyard, seen by Potter in 1995, was mostly aging potion, plus a donation of blood, bone, and flesh to fix the body in place, rather than shrinking down after it wore off. That's why the new body was so snakelike: because the body was of a possessed child raised on snake venom and almost nothing else. Using this method meant that Riddle's magical skills were equal to his original powers.

-Long-term possession of a willing subject, such as Quirrell in 1991 and 1992. Over about three years the subject would entirely lose control over their body to the possessor, and their body increasingly has the possessor's sticking out of the back. Quirrell only had Riddle for a year, and the head was already fully formed. Over the three years, the rest of the body would appear, and the original would fade into the back. Riddle could easily have used this route with Pettigrew. If Riddle had taken this route, it would have left him with a body just like his original one, but with only the magical power of the possessee; he would also have access to the knowledge and skills of the original person**[8]**, and their advice if needed.

-A third and similarly unpleasant route would be to collect blood from a living relative**[9]**, some bone from the person attempting to return, and an infusion of magic from a willing donator. This would let him craft a new body from the blood around his bone, and use the donated magic to draw his own strength back into the world. The person who donated some of their magic would lose some magical strength permanently, however. This would have left him with a body just like his own, but with strength equal to the magic donator before the donation. Note, however, that if the donator donates _all_ of their magic, then the person returning would have their own magical power plus that of the donator. This route was also available to Riddle, as his mother's brother Morfin Gaunt was still alive, and the house as Godric's Hollow was left untouched, including his body. Pettigrew would have willingly granted his magic in return for his life. Due to the general superiority of this method to the one used (secrecy, simplicity, increased magical power, etc), it is believed that Riddle did _not_ know of this method of returning to life.

**-On other methods of immortality**

-The Philosopher's Stone seems on first inspection to be a safe way to become immortal which doesn't require death. However, its color is known to be blood red. Its creation, while the exact process is not known, involves having a willing subject consume potions of longevity and potions of immunity to diseases, then participating in a ritual which drains their blood into a tub and crystallizes it into the Stone.

-The Stone, also, only lasts for enough Elixir of Eternal Life to make someone immortal for about 5000 years, since small parts of it are chipped off into the Elixir. Flamel was sharing it with his wife, so they would've lasted for about 2500 years; into the late 3000's.

-Although the Stone crystallizes as a perfect sphere, the chipping results in the miscellaneous rock shape it had at the time of its destruction. The Philosopher's Stone only prevents natural death by making the person ageless and immune to disease, not against violent death. Although Director [REDACTED] makes use of a Philosopher's Stone and inscribed the recipe for the Elixir of Eternal Life in our records herself, she has never divulged the ritual for creating a Stone, saying only that the price was too high.

-A third way is to use a modified time turner to Turn back your body at a constant rate of one hour every hour. This results in agelessness and effective immortality, and makes long-lasting curses and injuries heal almost instantly. If struck by the Killing curse, your body, being Turned back all the time, will keep living; but in the same way as if you were Kissed by a Dementor, making you a vegetable.

-Since a Horcrux won't keep you from aging**[10]** and this won't keep you from being killed by AK, combining a Horcrux and a Turner is considered by the Department to be one of the best methods of immortality**[11]**; you'll be immune to aging and disease, any curse other than the Unforgivables has basically no effect, and even AK won't work properly, since your now soulless body would be the perfect receptacle for possession. The only way to kill you would be to destroy both the Turner and your Horcrux(es)s.

-Binding the turner to yourself is simple and just requires a tiny piece of your soul and a drop of your blood in order to let it work on you and no-one else, and to let yourself use it from anywhere without turning it. The problem, and what requires death, is that it will still work like a normal time turner. To reshape it so that it'll work at a constant rate rather than simply move a person backwards, you have to sacrifice a (not necessarily willing) man who has recently traveled by that same time turner, and apply the blood of whoever made the time turner being reshaped.

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**[1]** The spell takes approximately five minutes and a small blood sacrifice from the caster.

**[2]** 387 are known to the department, 369 of whom are currently deceased.

**[3]** Abraxes posed as the god Hades in ancient muggle Greece.

**[4]** Riddle is better known as Lord Voldemort, You-Know-Who, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

**[5]** Amon posed as the god Osiris in ancient muggle Egypt.

**[6]** Drakul is also known as Count Dracula.

**[7]** The volumes are also available in cheaper, non-charmed form in the muggle world, as fiction.

**[8]** For example, if the possessee was an animagus, the possessor would keep the ability to transform into that form.

**[9]** The ritual requires all of their blood, so the living relative would die.

**[10]** Although you won't age to death, you will age to near-uselessness

**[11]** This was the method used by Herpo to Foul for some 250 years, keeping him at the physical age of thirty.

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**A/N: As I hope you all are clever enough to figure out, this fanfiction is written as files from the records of the Department of Mysteries, and thus is technically classified. Don't tell anyone you read this: shh! Anyway, I do have three other chapters written up already, but if you want more information on a subject just leave a review asking. Criticism is welcome, flames are not.**

_Canon violations in this chapter: It would be very difficult to acquire a fetus body to properly fit the ritual, especially given that Voldemort apparently had the fetus body at the beginning of GoF. The soul is severed to create a Horcrux, rather than merely stretched, as here._


	2. Chapter 2: on magical animals

**Disclaimer: although the theories and information I present here is as internally consistent and as canon-consistent as I can manage, it is ****_not_**** verified, confirmed, dispensed, or in any other way affiliated with J. K. Rowling's own explanations. The goal of this is to add my headcanon to that of others, so don't mistake this for canon truth.**

**Harry Potter and all affiliated characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling.**

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The following files were compiled by Senior Unspeakable [REDACTED]

On magical animals

Lethifolds have very powerful magical resistance**[1]** are nocturnal, and kill via suffocation. The mody interesting thing about them is the fact that a Patronus can penetrate their resistance and touch them physically. One of the Department's oldest projects is on hold due to their rarity; the idea is to make a saddle out of Lethifold skin and ride on Patronus, seeing as they move faster than anything wizards can do. A Patronus can go from one point to another faster than Apparation**[2]** or portkeys**[3]**, since they travel similarly to a phoenix and arrive instantaneously when traveling to a point the caster sends them**[4]**.

A Dementor is a force of darkness, a force of evil, a force of death. They hide in the darkest places on the Earth, and cannot be destroyed. No spell affects a Dementor**[5]**, and they're the only things that can truly hurt a phoenix. If confronted with a phoenix up close, they can drain its powers completely, turning it into a muggle hawk; if given the ashes of a phoenix, they can drain much of its power through the ashes, turning it into a diricawl**[6]**. Dementors were once mortal men: one of the Darkest of all spells, Darker and more addictive than the Unforgivables, was able to drain happy feelings and memories from the victim. It was once used as a punishment on criminals, but those who cast it became addicted to the feeling of casting the spell. They stopped casting any other spells, stopped eating, living only on the happy feelings and memories which they stole. Their bodies changed; without proper food they withered away, their flesh rotted and they still walked and stole their memories. They lost the ability to use wands, but cast that single spell wandlessly to continue feeding. Eventually they became the Dementors we now know.

A Phoenix is a force of light, a force for good, a force of life. They can travel through space and time wreathed in flames, going anywhere in the universe in an instant. They're immortal, except when exposed to their opposite, a Dementor. They live perpetually, over the course of a month being born, growing old, and dying. They're healers; a phoenix's tears are the second-most powerful method of healing, second only to the Elixir of Life**[7]**, which includes phoenix tears as a major component. Their song heals the soul, as well, and is generally considered to be the most beautiful thing in existence. A phoenix is immune to all spells except Avada Kedavra, which simply jump-starts their life cycle and makes them babies again.

Giants are commonly believed to be stupid, brutish, and evil, but they're not. Their brains are the same size as ours, in proportion, after all. In fact, the average IQ of a giant should be 15 points higher than that of a human. They pretended to be fierce and stupid in order to dissuade people from contacting them, because they mostly just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, most of this original stock of giants are long gone; the rest are afflicted with a powerful curse that actually stunted their minds, keeping them from mentally maturing past the age of about six. Imagine huge six-year olds who're nearly immune to magic - not a pretty sight. One of the major goals of the Department at this time is to break this curse; we're working on it with the help of several anonymous half-giants. Giants are basically humans who experimented with growth potions and accidentally made large permanently. They're now magical creatures, but they're still close enough to people to have children with them, and a half-giant has about half of a giant's magical resistance. Obviously, a human can't reproduce with a giant normally, but a simple spell will allow it: _Engorgio._

A werewolf transforms into a wolf, whose appearance varies slightly based on the season, the emotional state of the werewolf prior to transformation, and several other currently-unknown factors. They have no control over their actions, but will always pick targets that the werewolf in human form disliked more if several are available**[8]**. There are several obscure rituals which can be performed by the werewolf or by another wizard prior to transformation which will cause the werewolf to target one specific person, ignoring all others to get to them. A werewolf can only control his wolf state with the help of the Wolfsbane potion. invented by Damocles Belby in 1984. While under the influence of the Wolfsbane potion, the werewolf feels immense drowsiness rather than immense rage, and will simply sleep where they transformed rather than attack.

**Half-Werewolves**

The werewolf curse does not fully transmit from parents to children, but does partially transmit. Half-werewolves have a curious blend of the normal traits a human has and the traits of werewolves: they have yellow eyes, they gain muscle far faster than normal humans, their senses are enhanced**[9]**, and their energy is linked to the moon cycle. However, while a werewolf's energy is highest in the dark of the moon and lowest in the full moon, a half-werewolf's energy is highest in the full moon and lowest in the dark of the moon. Half-werewolves do not transform, but most male half-werewolves**[10]** have incredibly fast hair growth over the night of the full moon, and will wake with a full beard even when clean-shaven the night before. Female half-werewolves**[11]** have similar growth, but it obviously doesn't show up on the face as a male half-werewolf's does.

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**[1]** A Lethifold's resistance is similar in potency to that of a large dragon.

**[2]** Apparation takes approximately a second regardless of the distance traveled.

**[3]** Portkeys travel at the speed of sound.

**[4]** e.g. when Minister Shacklebolt sent his Patronus to warn Potter and the Weasleys that the Ministry had fallen to Riddle's Death Eaters, the Patronus arrived at the wedding party as soon as he sent it.

**[5]** Discounting the extremely difficult Patronus charm, which merely drives them away.

**[6]** The ashes, meanwhile, can then be used to create a time turner.

**[7]** The Elixir of Life, along with staving off age and sickness, can heal any physical wound up to and including the lack of a body, as well as any mental or emotional wound. It's rather ironic that if Riddle had successfully drunk the Elixir in 1992 as he planned, he would've not only returned to life, but his soul would've slipped off the Horcuxes and back to him, and he'd be able to feel a full range of emotions, including empathy, which he lacked. If he had gotten the Stone, he wouldn't be a Dark Lord anymore.

**[8]** e.g. if Lupin transformed in the presences of Potter and Snape, he'd attack Snape, but if it was just Potter, he'd attack Potter

**[9]** A half-werewolf's enhanced senses are not as powerful as a full werewolf's.

**[10]** e.g. Ted Lupin

**[11]** e.g. Rolanda Hooch

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_Canon violations in this chapter: In canon, the Wolfsbane potion allows a werewolf to keep their mind in wolf form, not send them to sleep, as here. If the Elixir of Life worked this way in canon, Dumbledore would likely have allowed Riddle to steal the Philosopher's Stone. There is no evidence whatsoever for half-werewolves existing or for Rolanda Hooch being one.  
_


	3. Chapter 3: on Hogwarts

**Disclaimer: although the theories and information I present here is as internally consistent and as canon-consistent as I can manage, it is ****_not_**** verified, confirmed, dispensed, or in any other way affiliated with J. K. Rowling's own explanations. The goal of this is to add my headcanon to that of others, so don't mistake this for canon truth.**

**Harry Potter and all affiliated characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling.**

* * *

The following files were compiled by Senior Unspeakable [REDACTED]

On Hogwarts

**On the Sorting Hat and other sentient objects**

We know of a couple different ways to create an object which either is sentient or seems sentient. We don't know which, if any, Godric Gryffindor and the other Founders used to create the Sorting Hat, as the Hat has never consented to be examined.

We think that they attached the soul of a loyal slave to the Hat**[1]** to provide material for the Hat's personality, then mixed Gryffindor's own blood with Slytherin's, Ravenclaw's, and Hufflepuff's. Arithmancy exercises show that a blood potion can be made which will mold the mind of the drinker to a mixture of the donors' minds; given to the Hat, it would become a cross between the four Founders. This would explain why the Hat seems to be a mixture of all the Founder's traits; aside from knowing which Founder would take a student, the Hat has a fixation with inter-house unity that matches Hufflepuff's, and Slytherin was known to compose long and rambling songs similar to the ones the Hat sings every year. But as I said, this is only a theory.

Another way to make an object sentient is to permanently bind a spirit of some sort to it. A ghost can be attached to a book, for example, which will then be able to communicate by writing in itself. This is distinct from a painting in that a ghost's views and personality can change over time, while a painting is fixed. That doesn't mean they will, mind you, but a ghost is a real person, while a painting is just a snapshot of them.

Paintings, by the way, are made with a long and complicated spell that basically photocopies a person's soul, attaches it to some of their freely given blood (which is mixed in with the paint), and animates the paint so that they can be spoken to later. Paintings have the same views as the person did when they were made, and the same knowledge, but they can't remember or cast spells. Making a painting takes considerable time, and the only automatic paintings are the Headmasters' Paintings, which appear in the Headmaster's office after the retirement of the Headmaster in particular, at first sleeping but waking up several days after their deaths. Note that the Founders have no portraits in the Headmaster's Office.

The third way we know of is to summon a demon of some sort, often using blood but not necessarily killing the donor, and draw it into an object. This usually results in a contrary object which will attempt to twist its purpose to cause harm. The demon can be reasoned with, however, and if that fails (which it almost always does) it can be magically bound to perform properly.

**Hidden areas within Hogwarts**

There are actually two Restricted Sections in the Hogwarts library. The first is the one that everyone knows, just a roped-off area of shelves which you can access freely if you're a seventh year, a prefect, or a Quidditch captain; otherwise you need a signed note from a Professor. The other is one that only Professors are allowed in; it has true Dark books in it, things like the Necronomicon, the Black Encyclopedia, Vergam's Book, etc. It can best be compared to the Library in a popular muggle series called Discworld; the books are a little bit alive**[2]**. This deeper part of the library is far below the rest of the school**[3]**, and can only be accessed by a very heavily warded and well-hidden stairway. Additionally, there's a door in it that's always locked, and no-one's been able to open it since Hogwarts was founded. Some of us think that it's an even deeper section of the Library, but I think that it leads to the Chamber of Secrets.

The Chamber of Secrets we don't know much about, since it can only be opened by a Parselmouth, _not_ by someone who just learned Parseltongue, like me (an exception is that the Chamber imprints on whichever Parselmouth opened it most recently. When a non-Parseltongue who speaks Parseltongue attempts to open it, it seeks the permission of who it's imprinted on. Potter subconsciously granted permission when Ronald Weasley tried to open it, and the Chamber opened). There's a slight difference that the Chamber's wards can sense. Anyway, we don't have any true Parselmouths on staff and Potter won't let anyone it, so we can't investigate it properly.

There's a hidden tower, near Ravenclaw tower, which was the private study of Rowena Ravenclaw. Its location is known (behind a tapestry of Armand the Elder, to be precise), but it was keyed only to Ravenclaw and she never keyed anyone else into its wards, so no one else will ever be able to get into it again.

The current Headmaster's office is actually the second room to be the Headmaster's office. Originally an area underneath the stairs in the Great Hall was the Headmaster's office and living suite, but this area became lost in 1666, when the Headmaster of the time**[4] **tried to assist in the Great Fire of London along with the deputy Headmaster, and they both perished. A new office was designated the Headmaster's office, and is still used as such.

Godric Gryffindor originally had his own suite of rooms a short distance from Gryffindor Tower. It was destroyed during one of the many arguments between Godric and Salazar that got out of hand. Although it was rebuilt, Godric claimed that it smelled like snake, and moved into the Tower proper, creating a new suite which is now used by the Head of Gryffindor. Gryffindor's original suite is now generally forgotten. However, it isn't locked, and can be found behind a set of red doors with golden handles around the corner from the Fat Lady's portrait.

Delphon's Grotto is one of several areas below the main Hogwarts castle – it's on the same level as the Chamber of Secrets and the deeper Restricted Section. It's a mossy cave with a stream running through it, within which all languages are translated into a listener's native tongue. Its access point has been lost, but its usage is well-recorded: it was used to negotiate with a tribe of Centaurs**[5]** who later settled in the Forbidden Forest; the mermaids who live in the Black Lake also negotiated in the Grotto; it was used on three occasions by the Ministry to negotiate with goblins, but these never resulted in success.

The Inverted Tower is a door near the central courtyard of Hogwarts which is disguised as a wall. It can be opened only by a Volucmouth (similar to Parselmouth, but can speak to birds rather than snakes. Ravenclaw, who created the Tower, was a Volucmouth. As no Volucmouths have appeared in nearly 600 years, no-one on staff at the Department can speak Voluctongue to try and enter). The door leads to a spiral staircase down into an upside-down tower. At the bottom is another Volucmouth-keyed door, but there are no records of what's through the inner door.

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**[1]** At the same time as the Hat appears, one of Gryffindor's more prominent slaves, Alures the Red, disappears from records of the time.

**[2]** As an example, one of the shelves is known to be empty except for one book, which has no title. Every week, the rest of the shelf is filled with plain, non-magical books. The next morning, the non-magical books are gone and the title-less book has a few extra pages.

**[3]** We believe it to be close to the Chamber of Secrets

**[4]** Alonzo Defron. Defron enjoyed privacy, refused to tell anyone aside from his deputy Headmaster where his office was, and met with students and teachers in abandoned classrooms.

**[5]** At the time, no centaur spoke English, and no outsider ever learned Centauran. Even now, English (or the appropriate language for the area) is only ever the second language for a Centaur, and still they have never taught anyone their own language.

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__**A/N: I have only one chapter written up after this: miscellaneous information. It's quite short, too, only about 500 words. After that, you'll have to review or PM me and ask for more information on a certain topic (or in some cases just information on a certain topic), and I'll do my best to have a new chapter up on that topic within a few days.  
**

_Canon violations in this chapter: nothing in this chapter explicitly denies canon or is explicitly denied by canon. However, there is no evidence whatsoever for the existence of any hidden chamber apart from the Chamber of Secrets, the existence of Volucmouths, or a distinction between the personalities of portraits and ghosts._


	4. Chapter 4: miscellaneous

**Disclaimer: although the theories and information I present here is as internally consistent and as canon-consistent as I can manage, it is ****_not_**** verified, confirmed, dispensed, or in any other way affiliated with J. K. Rowling's own explanations. The goal of this is to add my headcanon to that of others, so don't mistake this for canon truth.**

**Harry Potter and all affiliated characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling.**

* * *

The following files were compiled by Senior Unspeakable [REDACTED]

Miscellaneous:

Frank and Alice Longbottom were tortured, but not just by the Cruciatus curse. Pain alone can't drive a person insane in the same way they are. Along with physical pain, their memories of those they loved were Obliviated. Their long-term memory became permanently and severely damaged, and they can only clearly recall a few minutes into their past, along with the pain from the Cruciatus.

Time turners have existed for at least 2500 years, but the modern ones used by the Department of Mysteries are only between 150 and 300 years old. Due to the Principle of Magical Balance, creating an object which can bend time**[1]** requires the death of a timeless creature, a phoenix. To make a time turner, the most recent ashes of a phoenix must be exposed to a Dementor, which will drain the phoenix's powers through the ashes. The phoenix will become a mortal diricawl, and the ashes will become the sand in the time turner. The glass of a time turner must be blood-glass, created from human blood**[2]** and the blood of the diricawl. Along with all this is a system of spells which must be cast in the proper order in the proper times in order to create the interwoven enchantments that allow it to function without paradox.

Albus Dumbledore learned how to cast a talking Patronus from Nicholas Flamel, who may or may not have taught others. He in turn taught the Order of the Phoenix and no one else, but Kingsley Shacklebolt made it standard for Aurors to be able to cast both a Patronus and to make it talk.

Most people believe that the Dark Arts can only do harm, and thus they are called Dark. This is false. The Dark Arts can do many good things as well as cause harm**[3]**. The Dark Arts are Dark because they're _addictive_. Casting a Dark Spell is incredibly easy, and feels _good_. As soon as you do it, you want to do it again. The more Dark spells you use, the more you want to use, not just the one's you've cast but others as well. So research into the Dark Arts must be undertaken very carefully in order for researchers not to become addicted.

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**[1]** Along with taking a person back in time, a time turner is itself time-locked and nearly indestructible, and can be reshaped to be able to time-lock other things, to travel forwards in time, or to alter the flow of time for an object or person.

**[2] **Whoever's blood is used to create the blood-glass is the designated creator of the time turner. Only their blood can allow the blood-glass to be reshaped, as blood-glass is otherwise nearly indestructible.

**[3] **In fact, many advanced medical spells are derived from Dark spells. An example is Effrom's switch, a specialized switching spell made from switching skin from an animal with that of a person. Effrom used it to quickly heal the victims of whippings, swapping their skin with the skin of a pig – so he could continue whipping them. Nowadays, it's still used to heal people, but without hurting them even more afterwards.

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_Canon violations in this chapter: the Dark Arts are not addictive, and in fact are more difficult than normal spells. There are no other overt violations of canon, but nothing in the entire chapter is supported by canon._


	5. Chapter 5: Biography of the Head

**Disclaimer: although the character and his actions as presented here is canon-compliant, it is ****_not_**** verified, confirmed, dispensed, or in any other way affiliated with J. K. Rowling's own explanations.**

**Harry Potter and all affiliated characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling.**

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I was born on October 31st, 1926, in a small wizarding town in America. My mother, had been banished from England after supporting the Dark Lord Kemmler, who, while not as famous as later Dark Lords like Grindlewald or Voldemort, was quite feared in those days. He's best known for causing the muggles' World War One. All of it.

In any case, mother was not the most moral person, and rather than raising me herself left me in an orphanage and disappeared for several years, turning up again when I was three to leave my younger sister, Sarah, there as well. All of this I learned later, obviously, as that was the last time she was ever seen. My sister and I were both adopted shortly after her birth. It seems that she was being tracked by the American aurors, and when they found her trail leading to an orphanage they did a routine check for wizarding children, finding the two of us.

When it was found that we were the last heirs of a Noble and Most Ancient family from Britain, we were promptly returned to what the aurors considered our home country. We were raised by Milton and Alice, a muggleborn couple, who weren't told of our status. They treated us well, but they weren't rich. Milton worked for the Ministry as a clerk in the DMLE, and Alice managed a branch of Flourish and Blott's in Hogsmeade. Alice brought us to work every day, setting a ward over the door to keep us from exiting the store, and let us run free. My sister and I grew up around books and loved them well. I never had the same kind of accidental magic as my parents or my sister, or anyone else I knew of, though. I was always in control of it. I couldn't call it up at will, but when my magic manifested I could banish it easily enough.

When I turned 11, 1937, was when we found out our heritage. Milton took me and Sarah to Diagon Alley to draw from his Gringotts vault, but one of the goblins recognized the distinctive purple of Tau eyes. A quick blood test proved it, and we suddenly had access to a vault five times as large as Milton's. So of course we bought the best of everything we needed. Fine over- and under-robes, a quick change of Galleons to muggle money to get a new set of muggle clothes for each of us to wear at home… I insisted on giving some money to Milton and Alice, though, which they used to improve the house.

In any case, I procured my first wand from Alistair Ollivander and his son, Garrick Ollivander, then only 17, just out of Hogwarts. Fifteen inches, mahogany with chimera venom. A pretty good match for me, but not perfect – I remember that Garrick insisted that cherry would work better for me, but they had no suitable cherry wands. Garrick was right, but that's later in the tale.

On the train to Hogwarts I met who would be my best friend throughout my time at Hogwarts, though I realized shortly after graduation just how much of a "friend" he really was. Tom Riddle, also an orphan, who also had abnormal accidental magic. His was the opposite of mine, though. Where I could banish my magic, but not summon it, he could summon it, but not banish it. We bonded well, or so I though.

I was a Hatstall, between Ravenclaw and Slytherin – I would later find that many Taus have been. Ultimately what guided my decision was where I thought Tom would go. I went to Ravenclaw after nearly six minutes under the hat. Tom went to Slytherin in less than a second. Still, we worked together whenever we could, and often met in the library to study together. Tom often complained of the stupidity of his housemates. I had similar problems, but at least there were fewer Ravenclaws.

In third year, I came across Tom speaking to a snake. I was quite surprised, but I didn't run or attack him, nothing like that. I asked what was going on. It turned out that Tom was a Parselmouth, and had conjured a snake to see how conjured snakes compared to normal ones. He demanded that I tell no one of his ability – I understood, of course. Who would want the inevitable scorn and fear that would come with being a Parselmouth? I made him promise to teach me how to speak Parseltongue if he could, which he eventually agreed to, but I would never had let his secret out regardless.

In fourth year we began to drift apart. Our intellects clashed – our opinions differed, and neither of us could be budged from our positions, however the other argued. A part of this, perhaps, was the fault of our teachers. Tom hated Albus – Professor Dumbledore, that is – and the feeling was apparently mutual. But Albus favored me, and in fourth year he began privately tutoring me in Transfiguration and Charms. Tom and I didn't meet to study together anymore, only twice a week for my Parseltongue lessons. Another factor in this was the entrance of my sister Sarah, who was a Hatstall between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, going to Ravenclaw just past the five-minute mark.

In early fifth year I befriended a sixth-year Ravenclaw, Filius Flitwick. He helped me prepare for my O.W.L.s at the end of the year in exchange for my help in Transfiguration – he had barely made the required E to enter N.E.W.T. Transfiguration, and needed help from the best student in the school at Transfiguration, which was me. Although our sessions together began as mutual assistance, we became friends by the end of the year, and often dueled against each other, as we were well matched.

Near the middle of my fifth year a third-year girl died. Myrtle was a Ravenclaw like myself, and the cause of her death was never discovered. She died in the bathroom, apparently painlessly and instantly. But no spell had been cast upon her, and the Professors were left stumped. There was some talk of closing the school, but Rubeus Hagrid, a third-year Gryffindor, was expelled for her murder, and the school remained open.

Tom was absent from the train that summer – I found out upon returning to Hogwarts that he had convinced Dippet to let him stay over, after proving Hagrid had been raising a dangerous creature in Hogwarts which apparently had killed Myrtle. The two of us became closer again, as he showed me a new area of the castle he had found, supposedly over the summer. Salazar Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets, accessible through the bathroom Myrtle died in. That should have been a hint to me, but I didn't realize for some time.

Tom insisted that the Chamber was empty, and that the monster had long since died. It was a wondrous place, certainly. There was a system of tunnels accessible that went all through the school, though they were exit-only, as well as locked doors which we did our best to open. We managed to pry open all but one over the course of our sixth year. Curiously, although the password was absolutely anything in Parseltongue, I couldn't open the Chamber, only Tom. We reasoned it could tell the difference between someone who merely knew Parseltongue and a Parselmouth.

Filius began a dueling club halfway through the year and declared that I would be in charge of it after he left, and near the end of sixth year Tom declared me fluent in Parseltongue. Albus, meanwhile, had expanded his tutoring to Charms and Defense as well, along with challenging me to chess and insisting I call him by his first name.

The next year Tom told me he had found out some about his father. It seems that his father had been a wealthy muggle, also named Tom Riddle, and had died recently. He showed me a ring which had belonged to his father, and asked for my help with finding out more about his mother. I declined, as I had a very busy schedule – meeting with Albus three nights a week, managing the dueling club started by Filius, which met two nights a week, and doing the enormous amounts of homework of N.E.W.T. year. Tom abruptly stopped speaking with me, doing his best to pretend I didn't exist. Of course, he had barely any free time as well – he was Head Boy.

I tried to make contact with him again a few times, but he always snubbed me. Tom disappeared shortly after N.E.W.T.s, the very day after graduation. My meetings with Albus, meanwhile, deteriorated when he asked me to help in the war against Grindlewald, which had been raging since the end of my third year. I realized that he had been planning this the whole time, as I was one of the best students in Hogwarts even then, and demanded why he hadn't trained Tom, too. Our meetings ended, though we remained cordial and even became friends, some years later.

I had to join the Wizengamot and take my family's ancestral seat, managing it until my sister, who was much more interested in politics than I, graduated from Hogwarts and replaced me. I was then hired by Garrick Ollivander, who had taken over the shop, as his apprentice. We became good friends over the six years I worked with him, and my apprenticeship ended when I created a wand for myself - nine inches, cherry and occamy feather. It suited me much better than my first wand, but I did notice a difference – my mahogany wand wasn't as powerful, but was more precise. I generally use my mahogany wand now, but my cherry wand is a backup, and I use it when power is required.

After finishing my apprenticeship with Ollivander, I was approached by a member of the Department of Mysteries. I agreed to work for them, and after only three years was promoted to full Unspeakable – I still hold the record for shortest time as a Junior Unspeakable.

As an Unspeakable, I rotated through various research chambers. I corresponded with Albus beginning in 1954, a year after I becoming an Unspeakable proper, and though my work was confidential he gave me details of happenings in Hogwarts – Headmaster Dippet had just died, and he wanted me to come be the Transfiguration Professor to replace him. I declined, and he instead hired a more recent graduate, Minerva McGonagall, who had been a Gryffindor.

In 1974, shortly after Voldemort first began to become well-known, I was promoted to Senior Unspeakable. I was assigned permanently to the Death Chamber and the Time Chamber – I chose as my minor Rooms the Time Chamber and the Hogwarts Chamber. I discovered quite a bit about all of those subjects – I rediscovered the creation ritual for a Time Turner, for example, though I have of course never made one myself. I did bind a Time Turner to me, but that's the extent of my true involvement with them. Creatures, though, I had a hand in creating the Wolfsbane Potion. My sister fled the country, hiding from Voldemort in America, and I haven't heard from her since.

I joined the Order of the Phoenix and provided them with Time Turners when they needed them over the next several years. In 1978, my sister, who opposed Voldemort's minions in the Wizengamot, fled to America, where she hasn't been heard from since. In 1980, when Voldemort fell, the Head of the Department was discovered to be a Death Eater, and he fled. I was appointed Head in his place.

Over the next eleven years, I was able to focus on my own wants when doing my research. I spent a good deal of time with our half-giant allies, trying to make process on dispelling the curse on the giant race. I managed to track down the Mirror of Magdalen, which shows the faces of those who love the looker. I worked with Alonzo Abrams – who, as I'm sure you know, invented Floo powder – on the powder. We managed to improve the recipe, eliminating the dragon scale necessary and making Floo powder cheap and affordable.

If Albus had not kept news of the Chamber opening to himself, I could have told him where it was – but by the time the news got out, I was in Timbuktu, trying a new method of dispelling the Giants' curse.

When Black escaped from Azkaban, I was asked to figure out how he did it and make sure it couldn't be done again. I did manage to discover how, based on the Dementors' descriptions of his mind periodically becoming simpler, then more complex – he was an animagus, and went into his animagus form to keep his sanity. His form had to have been a smaller one, which could slip through the bars. I modified the Homorphus jinx to have a constant effect over an area, and it's been used over Azkaban since.

The next year was the Triwizard Tournament, or perhaps that one should be called the Quadwizard tournament. In any case, I had little to do with it until the very end, when Voldemort was resurrected. Albus had long since known of the various rituals which he might use to return, but believed, correctly, that he only knew of one, by which he would combine a Dark potion with his father's bone, his servant's flesh, and his enemy's blood. Voldemort did indeed use this ritual, and our belief was that it would also anchor his enemy to the world. Potter's blood was used, which should have meant that Potter was immortal for as long as Voldemort lived. Given the prophecy about them, this was a good thing.

But Albus told me something then that I hadn't known. Voldemort, he said, had made Horcruxes, several, and believed himself to be the first to do so (he was actually the fifth). He told me what he believed them to be – a diary, already destroyed, a ring, a locket, a cup, a diadem, a snake, and Potter himself. I had my suspicions as soon as Albus described the ring, and they were confirmed when Albus told me that Voldemort was the true Heir of Slytherin, Tom Riddle. I… I lost my temper, I'm afraid. I raged that Albus should have told me earlier, that I could've infiltrated their ranks… I said many things that I should not have, and refused to help in the Order this time around.

I didn't calm down until Voldemort invaded the Department, _my_ domain, and tried to convert me, a whole year later. We fought, and I drove him off a short ways, but was caught by an immobilizing hex. I broke free only a minute or two later, but the battle was already over.

I began helping the Order once more, by using my insight into Riddle's mind to help search for the Horcruxes. When Albus and I found one, the ring, he was apparently struck by a curse upon it, putting the ring on and being poisoned by it. He was delirious, and instead of allowing me to help he called Fawkes and returned to Hogwarts. One of the professors there, Severus Snape, had already done everything possible by the time I arrived.

Albus and I continued to search for the Horcruxes over the next year, and only found one near the end of the school year. We planned to go get it together, but for some reason he took Potter with him the day before we were going to fetch it. My friend died that very night.

I became the de facto head of the Order for as long as it lived, but my movements were sharply restricted a month later, when Voldemort took over the Ministry. I was left in place, but was unable to do much. During the Battle of Hogwarts, when nearly all of Riddle's forces were there, I took control and blocked off the Ministry, expelling the few forces he had left behind.

Since then, my life has returned to being as normal as it gets for the Head of the Department of Mysteries. There have been no Dark Lords worth mentioning, and no major discoveries. Potter sold off the corpse of an old basilisk, which caused quite a stir, but I managed to purchase most of the venom, so no harm done there. Since then it's been policy for all Unspeakables and Senior Unspeakables to have a backup wand with a basilisk venom core.

At the moment, I'm training up one of the Unspeakables, Unspeakable Granger, to become my replacement. She's only worked with us for seven years, and was promoted from Junior Unspeakable two years ago, but I have high hopes for her. As for me, I plan take a long, well-deserved vacation in wizarding America and search for my sister or her children, if she had any.

* * *

_Canon violations in this chapter: Hermione didn't become an Unspeakable. Absolutely nothing in this chapter is supported by canon in any way._


End file.
